Saturday, November 24, 2007

Week 737: No River, No Woods

This week's contest was to write a song parody which commemorates a holiday other than Christmas and Hanukkah. I chose to write mine about Black Friday:

"Black Friday Bills" (sung to “Jingle Bells”)
Black Friday is here!
I’ll get in line by 4.
This better be my year
To be first in the door.
Why stop at two or three--
I fill each shopping cart.
To bolster China’s GNP,
I always do my part.

Credit cards, credit cards,
Credit all the way!
Oh! what fun it is to spend
A whole year’s hard-earned pay!

Cash is so passé;
I don’t use it any more.
(Oh, look at that display--
I'll take just three or four!)
I max out every card
On junk no one will need--
Just give me lawn gnomes for my yard
And snowmen dressed in tweed!

Credit cards, credit cards,
Credit all the way!
Oh! what fun it is to spend
A whole year’s hard-earned pay!

The offers never stop
Despite my credit score;
No matter how I shop,
The postman just brings more.
More debt I will accrue
And this does not me faze,
Since I know the bills aren’t due
For twenty-two more days!

Ooooooh, credit cards, credit cards,
Credit all the way!
Oh! what fun it is to spend
A whole year’s hard-earned pay!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Week 726: Limerixicon 4

This contest was to write a humorous limerick based on a word from the range cl- to co-.

Here's my losing entry:

In Cooperstown, where there's a hall
For the legends who swatted the ball,
The name Bonds you won't see
(Not unless you go pee,
'Cause I wrote it myself in the stall!).